BANNED, MARRIED AND A SURPRISE!

It was such a sweet moment (I’m sure all you selfie-studs slobbering over yourselves in the mirror get these notices often): when the lurking Facebook-ers, like some sort of hovering, giant org in the sky, sent me a message:

Your disgusting display of nudity is so grossly inappropriate for our saintly audiences, you’ve been suspended until further review, and, really, what were you thinking displaying a nude man painted in gold, that’s so Pussy Galore, 1964.

Well, the FB drones didn’t quite say that. But they did sentence TCG to a banishment for a penalty period due to a photo of a nude model at our latest fab opening party, “Naked & Lush: Nicoloro and Schwabel, New Works.”

Isn’t it ironic? The last time the FB drones diddled with us (which, as everyone knows, is because somebody you’re supposedly friends with on FB wants to feel nasty-powerful and “reports” you), the chill-effect was a bit different.

Isn't it like we’re living in some kind of hellish, Orwellian retro-world, where we keep losing rights to artistic freedom, speech freedom, women’s rights, environmental rights, health rights...oh, that’s right, we are!

Point being, in 2015, when we showed Jim Cox’s sensational life-size nude photograph, “JT Muscles Out a Thought or Two,” the FaceBook police sent us notice that we’d been “reported,” and that we’d be “reviewed.”

Only that time we apparently won the case, as buried in the crevices of FB’s creepy no-no dogma is a policy that clearly states they “allow photographs of paintings, sculptures and other art that depicts nude figures.”

Fast forward to Eric Schwabel’s lush, striking (and often exquisitely subtly posed) desert nude shots from our current show. They’re divine. And many models, both male and female, sat for Eric after being sheathed in gold and silver paint.

Some models appeared in the same body paint at our opening, as a performance extension of the art.

(For the record, the model who posed for Jim Cox’s photograph also appeared at the opening of our gallery, with resulting butt-loads of shots plastered all over FB.)

Double standard: My account was taken down the night of the "Lush" party, due to a shot of Eric Schwabel, his models and yours truly. I protested to my old pesky FB coppers, asking why I was allowed to run a naked photo before but not a naked art assemblage now.

No answer.

But, then, like the computerized grunts and invisible quasi-McCarthyites they are, my account was restored. Just like that.

WTF, fellahs?

You got a pretty confusing policy here. You’re capricious at best, rights-bashing at worst. We are an A-class, fine art gallery, we sell and curate only highly professional work. Unlike Facebook’s masses of wannabe strippers who masquerade their dream careers as profiles, we do not show the latest topiary designs we’ve carved into our pubic hairs (though that’s not exactly a bad show idea...).

So please ignore the prudes and come in to enjoy TCG’s last show of the season. Johnny Nicoloro’s sumptuous floral photographs and Eric’s beyond-body-beautiful nudes are sights to behold, I mean it.

And then share them on Facebook!

Also, I'd like to announce TCG is closing for the summer July 3rd, and I’ve decided not to renew the lease at our current 388 N. Palm Canyon Dr. location. (We're relocating to a more industrial complex, super-cool.) Instead, I’m going to get married in Northern California, we then go to Croatia and Spain for our honeymoon, and by the time we're back in September, I’ll announce a new TCG location and surprise.

And, no, I’m not pregnant.

(But, I think Kevin is.)